The Best Cup of Coffee in the World

It was most delicious - especially
prepared for me by a dying man
bone china he said tapping the saucer
bought two cups in France
souvenirs sourced at a thrift shop
you can’t find such nice ones 
here in the Netherlands
 
He was standing in his kitchen
managing the coffee machine
a one cup of coffee at a time type 
he’d been on his own quite some years

By all accounts my exfatherinlaw
should not have been standing in front of 
his coffee machine on his own two feet
but he even had a little bit of oat milk left

I noticed the fridge needed cleaning
a smattering of fuzzies caught my eye 
as I closed the door 

He frothed the milk up and poured it out
I set the cup on the saucer
then he sat down in front of the large 
infrared panel my ex promptly secured
when the patient discharged himself 
that week from the hospital 
heading back to his underheated home

Fifteen degrees is fine he said one year
it turned out that seventeen 
was even finer the next

Nothing wrong with me 
I want to play my oboe he said 
to the doctors who mouthed 
the word hospice and had already 
prescribed large quantities of morphine.

I eyed the unopened boxes 
lying on the kitchen counter

He watched me drink my coffee
I find that I drink my coffee 
really slow now he said
like I have all the time in the world

Out of the blue diagnosis
one week left to live

No need to rush I said
savoring my cup of coffee
he set his oboe reed in water

Upstairs he played through his pieces 
sitting behind him I didn’t correct 
the rhythmic mistakes I thought 
he sounded fine in the flow

When playing the oboe 
between the tumor in his belly 
and the rest of the bronchitis 
took too much out of him
he picked up his trombone
bought at a second hand store
in Rotterdam - only a hundred euros - 
and played the start of Adeste Fideles 
how does it go he asked
I picked up the tune where he’d left off
and sang the line for him 
we started the verse again
together we went through
a whole stanza because he wasn’t 
going to the church in ten days time
to play his trombone



Dreams of Paris in the Hospice

Do you think
I asked my exfatherinlaw 
time is passing slowly or quickly
he sat still for a while
I don’t know he finally said 
in the brown and orange hospice room
and then dozed off in his chair

Did you dream?
I asked when he opened his eyes
I dreamt of Paris he told me

Hearing those words
I thought it would be mighty fine
if dying meant to dream of Paris
where time passed 
neither slowly nor quickly

But let’s not kid ourselves 
he suffered horribly

I was scared to death 
he said to me, returning from emptying
his stomach into the bathroom sink,
that I wouldn’t make it in time
behind his head the blue and white tiles
gleamed



Dudok in Rotterdam in December in Tears

I sat down at a small table,
anticipating the two-hour-trip
back to Amsterdam and ordered:
slices of deer 
mashed potatoes
and, Dutch style, red cabbage

I wasn’t too crazy about the red cabbage,
a sweetened winter dish, 
but my exfatherinlaw always exclaimed,
 “Ah, rodekool!” with such pleasure
and out of of nostalgia I just wanted to say
“I’ll have the special of the day, please.”

Trying to get my thoughts together
 - I ordered a white wine by mistake -
Dudok, when I was twenty-six, had been 
 - listened to the melange of voices and - 
the place of courtship and warmth 
 - rattling dishes and unobtrusive music -
at a time when I hadn’t much of anything 

Sitting there alone, in my inner ear
I heard my exfatherinlaw protest, 
as usual, after we would point out 
that he had paired the wrong wine - 
“Ach - het smakt prima!”



The Time He Took Orange Juice to the Airport

It’s not a great story
and it’s hardly worth
mentioning

He’d poured orange juice
into his breakfast cereal
that morning, aiming 
to use up the carton while
at my friends’ apartment
in Greenwich Village

I found him looking 
vexed in the kitchen
when I came to ask 
about his luggage 

In the back of the yellow cab
he gingerly set his backpack 
down on the seat next to me, 
patted it lovingly and smiled